By Propaganda Minister

We had lost contact with Elvis and haven't received any messages from him for a while. Recently we were able to locate his ship again and hope to get some updates for the rest of his mission.  This is what had happened so far.

We had identified Gliese 581g as the homeworld of the alien invaders in the TV show Falling Skies. Elvis decided to lead a mission to destroy the invaders home world. He sent us updates every week or so. They were having a difficult journey. First, they were attacked by Daleks and Cylons. When things looked really bad they were saved by a Vorlon fleet. Then they were caught in the gravitational pull of a black hole. Fortunately Superman was travelling through the area and was able to move the ship away from the black hole. However, Elvis' ship was just about out of gas from running the engine at maximum to stay out of the black hole. Superman gave them a push toward a planet where Elvis could buy some fuel.

The Ferengi who had control of the negative energy Elvis needed drove a hard bargain. Luckily Capt. Reynolds and his Firefly ship were orbiting the planet too and he gave Elvis an idea of how to pay for it. The Ferengi accepted 2 gallons of moonshine and several of Elvis' vinyl singles from Earth - All Shook Up, Hound Dog, Heartbreak Hotel, and Blue Suede Shoes -  in trade for the load of negative energy.

While under the influence of the black hole the ship had been thrown into the past. Now that they had filled up the gas tank they would try to get back to the present by passing through the corona of a red giant star. This tactic didn't work and they were thrown into the 11th dimension. Once again things looked bleak but luckily they found help in the form of Santa Claus, who was also trapped in the 11th dimension and needed Elvis' ship to help him get back to normal space.

While peacefully relaxing once they were back on course to Gliese 581g the ship was unexpectedly attacked by a mysterious green gaseous space entity. The entity passed through the ship and took Astro Girl's brains with it. As they were trying to figure out where the green entity went, a fleet of Asgard ships came upon them and explained that they were also chasing the green entity. With their help, Elvis found the entity and got Astro Girl's brains back.

Once again back on course for Gliese 581g they unexpectedly came upon a space battle between a Goa'uld ship captained by Sgt. Saunders from the Combat! TV show and a fleet of Klingon ships. Elvis and the sarge formed an alliance and destroyed  the Klingons. To their surprise an additional fleet of Klingon ships had been cloaked and were now preparing to attack. During the ensuing battle Elvis and the sarge were in big trouble but again were saved by good fortune. Another Goa'uld ship commanded by Mrs. Peel from the Avengers TV show and Rommie from the Andromeda TV show swooped in and saved the day. The three of them decided to attrack Gliese 581g together. The sarge and Mrs. Peel warned Elvis that the planet was protected by some really evil forces.

Things got very dangerous now. They formed a plan and went in to attack Gliese 581g. They were met by a fleet of Shadow vessels commanded by Callisto from the Xena TV show. Elvis fought his way through this wave of ships and raced toward the planet. Another fleet of Shadow ships, this time commanded by Scorpius from the Farscape TV show, came up from the planet to meet them. During the battle all three of our hero's ships took some damage and had to break off the attack. The planet had been damaged but not destroyed, many Shadow ships had been damaged and destroyed but the overall result had been inconclusive.

So now Elvis is working on repairing his ship. The sarge is still travelling with him. Mrs. Peel and Rommie have gone their own way. From now on we will be getting new updates from Elvis. 

By Propaganda Minister

Zeroids have long been traveling to distant planets and absorbing their cultures. We've begun collecting some of their works in our new Interstellar Museum.  This priceless tidbit is from a group of Zeroids living on Earth in the Earth year 1973.  This selection was very popular here in the Invisible Galaxy at the time but never received much notice on Earth.

As you know, Zeroids must adopt disguises and local names when they're mixing with natives. The participants in this project were known as Razzle Dazzle, Carlo Peach, Rockin Bob, Professor Pete, Muffin Paul, and Jazzin J. Jim.

The Interstellar Museum appreciates the efforts of the late C.B. Ritz in preserving this valuable piece of Zeroid history.

By Elvis

The trip has started. We took off from Planet Zero a few days ago. Our little trip will take a while and we have to find ways to pass the time while we're moving along. Even though I'm the commander of this mission, I don't have a lot to do. The 2 robots and Smitty the navigator take care of the driving and the route is in the computers.

Our little trip can go a few different ways. Maybe nothing strange will happen and we just show up in the Gliese system and take care of business. It's possible we could run into hostile aliens looking for a fight. Or we could all go crazy from boredom. No matter what happens there's bound to be some drama. These are my only crew members and we'll be spending a lot of time together in this small ship.

I wanted to have a film of the blast off for my movie collection. The Propaganda Minister sent me this short flick over our communication system. I really like my little spaceship. I want to keep it if we get it back in one piece.

I'm really excited about this little trip. My hands are shaky and my knees are weak. My crew say I'm actin wild as a bug. I'm just itching to get to Gleise 581g and kick some alien ass.

By Elvis

I want to announce that soon I'll be commanding a mission to a planet called Gliese 581g. The folks here on Planet Zero tell me that this is the home planet of the hostile Earth visitors in the recent Falling Skies series. Since I want to make sure nothing bad happens to my friends on Earth, I'm going to their home and kick their butts.

The Gliese system is real far away from the Invisible Galaxy but it's pretty close to Earth. So if I want to get there before it's too late, we'll have to travel pretty fast. We'll have to go through some wormholes and also use a faster than light engine. The folks that built the ship tell me it can go zillions of times the speed of light.

This is going to be a small mission. There will only be me, as the commander, my friend Astro Girl, a couple robots, and our navigator, Smitty. Since the mission is to save Earth I want us humans to do it. We won't take any Zeroids with us but I want to thank them for building the ship for me and for all their support.

My mission should leave within a couple weeks. I'll post updates here as we go along so you can follow us.

By Propaganda Minister

In a recent article a NASA affiliated scientist suggests that an advanced alien civilization may destroy humanity because of a surplus of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere. Wow!, this is just crazy as s**t. Upon further study he may find that of the many alien civilizations in the universe, there are some that need these gasses, especially CO2 very badly. In fact only a few alien species exist in atmospheres similar to Earth. The article further speculates that "green" aliens may object to greenhouse gasses in Earth's atmosphere. As you can see from my picture, I am a green alien. Many Zeroids are green but some are also other colors, including grey. I doubt that an alien's color would have anything to do with the way they feel about gasses.

Instead, this situation should be viewed as an opportunity for interstellar trade. Any logical species would realize that if some civilization has a surplus of something, you need to find another that has a great need for it. Then a trade can be made that is beneficial to all involved. I've read recently that many nations on Earth have created too much currency. Here's a chance to get some solid rare material in return for gas.

The only possible downside to this type of arrangement would be if the civilization who traded away the product - CO2 in this case - might find later that it was a big mistake and it was something that they didn't realize they needed. To go back and try to re-negotiate the deal with a more powerful alien species may result in the destruction of humanity. Only in a case like this could it be said that too much CO2 may cause aliens to destroy humanity.